Did you know studies show that as we engage in prayer and meditate on scripture our ability to regulate emotions and reduce the brain’s response to stress and anxiety lessens? What we meditate on matters greatly! Did you also know that secure and safe relationships shape our mental frameworks that guide our perceptions of our self and others? In other words, relationship is the center of who we are as human beings. Our connection to God and others impacts our self-perception and trust of God and others.
Did you also know that secure and safe relationships shape brain development and are responsible for our ability to regulate emotions? We don’t renew our mind independent from others! I would describe a safe and secure relationship or attachment as one where a strong emotional bond is formed between two individuals. The first attachment we make is typically with our caregivers and lays a blueprint and foundation which is built upon later in life.
My first experience out of graduate school I was able to work in a residential environment with kids healing their attachment wounds. I saw some pretty significant trauma and our primary lens for change was relational. God knew I needed to be here- He imparted much to me during this season. Much of my passion for healthy relationships and a strong desire to see attachment repair to God and others grew significantly during this time. Previously, and even during this time God was continuing to personally restore and renew my mind and my view of myself in relationships, which would prepare me for marriage and the next season of life as a parent.
You look at science, and God designed the hardware of our brain to form new neural connections and strengthen existing ones as we engage in safe and secure relationships with God and others. Specific areas of your brain, such as your prefrontal cortex, which is mainly responsible for decision making and impulse control and the amygdala which processes fear, respond to stimuli in healthier ways over time through repetition and consistency. Early attachment experiences shape brain structure and function and through Christ no matter what our earlier experiences were, we can have as well known psychoanalysts Fran Alexander says “corrective emotional experiences” that help reshape our neural pathways and our ways of relating to others. In other words, if the original template or foundation needs to be relaid, through the power of the Holy Spirit and experiential (this is key) encounter with God and others, new foundations are laid. The repetitive experiences of God’s love, grace, and acceptance can reinforce neural pathways related to trust, security, and positive emotional states. Practices like prayer, meditation, and worship can enhance emotional regulation, foster gratitude, and reduce anxiety—much like how secure attachments provide emotional comfort.
In addition, the popular phrase, “use it or lose it” can be applied to needing to let go of a lie or ungodly belief. When a thought pattern is no longer reinforced, the connection is weakened over time. Ephesians 4:22-23 says to put off our old self and we do this by engaging in the spiritual practices, such as meditation on scripture, community, and discipleship with safe people, and prayer. Transformation and rewiring of brain pathways and the emotional center of the brain is restored to God’s original design over time. We can engage in very practical strategies for rewiring the brain and reinforcing the thought or belief we want to believe. One proven strategy for renewing your mind is observing your thoughts without judgement and asking the Holy Spirit to shine His light on any unconscious thoughts that you may not initially see. We must be engaged with the Spirit of truth, for it is He who exposes and reveals the hidden things, even the thoughts of man. The Spirit of truth is also who empowers us through His grace to redirect our thoughts to the truth. In psychology we call this “cognitive reframing”. Jesus will shine His light and through His grace He will remind you and empower you to reinforce the new thought that He is divinely giving you. You have the mind of Christ (I Cor 2:16) and it’s always His desire to impart and uncover His thoughts to you.
In conclusion, God made our brains with the ability to reorganize itself by forming new neural connections (neuroplasticity). Safe, trusting relationships ( our attachments) play a key role in this reorganization. God will engage in this process with you by His Spirit and He will also use other human relationships to reorganize the brain, restore trust, and reflect the Godhead. Everything happens within relationship!
What a gift it is to know Christ! He is for you and not against you and until you go to be with Him your mind will continue to be “renewed in knowledge in the image of its Creator” (Col 3:10).
Let me challenge you and encourage you today to connect with a safe, healthy relationship in your life where you are seen, valued, and able to build trust. If you don’t have one, start praying for one and believe God is going to bring people to you. You are worth it and the enemy will do everything He can to keep you from stepping into these relationships because he knows it’s how you were made and how you thrive and flourish!
